A Pair of Spectacles: or Cinderella Retold by Maggie

“Oomph! This trash can is too heavy! Oh, hi. My name is Marguerite. Call me Maggie for short. You may have heard of my step-sister, Cinderella*? Of course you have. It’s all her fault now that I’m emptying the trash can. How? Well, she used to work for us- I didn’t have to dress my dolls… or feed the dogs... or push the play button on my iPod**. Now all of that’s changed. Here, let me tell you what really happened. And let me tell it right.

“It all started when Mom got a phone call from the royal palace one day. It wasn’t an invitation, like the author insisted, but that really didn’t have anything to do with it. The conversation (over the phone!) changed everything. And, because my mom didn’t want anyone hearing her (she put our phone off speakerphone), I only heard bits and pieces of the conversation. And the next thing I new, I was going to win the prince’s hand, I thought. Unfortunately, I had the wrong idea.

“‘Now listen, girls,’ Mom said to me and my sister, Mildred, ‘One of you has been picked to marry the prince. At a masquerade. Tomorrow night.’ ‘Which?’ we both asked at the same time. ‘Why, of course I don’t know,’ said my mom. (If I remember correctly, that’s not how the author told this story.) And guess what else? Cinderella was with us at the time! ‘You can go, too, dear,’ Mother said to her sweetly, ‘if you finish all your work in time.’ I was super excited! My mom was the nicest mom in the world, believe me. Cinderella was the mean one- she was always trying to ruin our chances, because you know what? She didn’t get her work done! Of course, she did have a lot of extra chores that day… including helping us with our costumes (it was a masquerade). She just… well, didn’t have any time to get her work done. Of course it was to her advantage. How were the rest of us to know she’d called a seamstress (now this is where the Mr. What’s-His-Name (the author) made up all that magic stuff about a fairy-godmother, and a carriage of pure gold…)? It just didn’t make any sense. Cinderella arrived in a sleek white limousine. Of course! We left it there for her! Um, yes, we… borrowed a friend’s *cough* corvette.

“I guess something didn’t add up for the prince. Why he didn’t see that I was obviously the prettiest of all the girls that night, I don’t know. But, what I do know is that Cinderella supplied the prince with a pair of eyeglasses that night! Come to think of it, they were rose-colored. The conclusion is the prince married Cinderella. Ha! I just proved to you that Cinderella was a cheat!*** Please… believe me?

“So… if you find any rose-colored spectacles lying around, let me know. A time-travel pill into the past would also really help. And, by the way, if you just happen to know anyone who is familiar with how to dress dolls, feed dogs, and push play on an iPod, keep in touch, okay? Thanks for listening!”